Fifty Shades of...

In elementary school there were several posters on the cafeteria walls that announced "You Are What You Eat."  My friends and I found this hysterically funny.  Someone would eat a Twinkie and say, "Look, my arm's a Twinkie now!"  A boy named Johnny was the only kid who liked and ate the kale the school was so determined to serve us.  Everyone watched him carefully to find the first hints of green skin.  Now that I am older I appreciate what those posters were trying to teach us, that it matters very much what we put into our bodies.  But I think it matters even more what we put into our minds.  We are, indeed, what we read, watch, and listen to.

That's why I don't really care for chick flicks or chick lit.  I don't spend much time perusing books with characters named "Daphne Flowers" or "Ridge Stone."  Daphne, of course, is illustrated on the cover; her long "raven hair" tousled, her "violet eyes" brimming, her bodice overtly askew.  I always wish I could say to Daphne, "My dear, you should really go to college, pursue a career, and stop identifying yourself as some man's appendage.  Oh, and borrow my t-shirt."  I don't want to agree with Daphne, sympathize with her silly plight, or view the world through her lens.  I don't want to become Daphne. Therefore, I don't let her in.

So when trailers for Fifty Shades of Grey start popping up everywhere, I feel such discouragement.  Why are many women interested in this mindless pablum?  (And yes, this movie is targeted to women.  If any man sees this movie it will be because the woman in his life dragged him there.)  What aspect of Fifty Shades of Grey do they want to become?  Submissive?  Abused?  Depraved?  Consumed by the pursuit of sexual gratification?

"Hey," these women cry, "Don't be so serious.  It's just a movie.  It's just entertainment."

Wrong.  There is no such thing as "just entertainment."  Don't fool yourself. Since the dawn of mankind entertainment has been a powerful tool to shape the thoughts and actions of people.  Early cultures staged ritualistic dramas to teach beliefs, morals, and appropriate behavior.  In ancient Greece playwrights used satire and farce to successfully foment social change.  In the late 18th century the French playwright Pierre Beaumarchais wrote a trilogy of Figaro plays that was openly critical of aristocratic privilege.  The most revolutionary of the three plays, "The Marriage of Figaro," dealt with the privilege of "droit du seigneur," the right of the royalty to get "first dibs" with a servant's bride before the wedding night.  The court censor banned it.  King Louis XVI declared it would never be performed.  Marie Antoinette defied the order and soon the play was performed all over Paris, with great effect.  The French saw revolt, heard revolt, read revolt, and surprise, surprise, had a revolution.

O my fellow sisters (and brothers, too!) of the planet Earth, what do you want to become?  I can think of so many wonderful things I'd like to be; how about Fifty Shades of Creative?  Fifty Shades of Compassionate?  Fifty Shades of Healthy, Beautiful, Understanding, Wise, Educated?  Let us make a solemn vow to be anything, anything but Fifty Shades of Stupid.

Entertainment?

Beaumarchais